Moonlight (from my dear friend Steve)

Sometime, when i awake at night
I feel the still of the bright moonlight
My heart is heavy, my soul so pained
But the light from the moon doesn't ease the strain.

The morning appears and the stress fades so
It's time again to face this show
To add my smile at the break of day
When the one i love is so far away.

I text, i call and love we share
The void we feel is in the air
We dream, we talk but all the while
We know our hearts can't sustain the smile
That spreads across our face all day
Because our love so deep to stay

Now it's nighttime yet again
The moon awaits to be my friend
So pretty, so round and so bright too
Then, why does it make me blue?

Message Buddy

Good morning, sunshine
a smily face to show I care😊
almost smell coffee in your pot
wish you were here in my bed

I dont care wearing high heels
as long as my buddy's feet are protected by steels
with a sticker of wisdom
so much warmth it feels

Days go by without you by my side
My message buddy, when can I see your bright eyes?
your words are like melody
flowing into my heart, it has nowhere to hide...

Sweet Lover

Sweet lover,
melody in your heart,
not too soft,
not too hard,
firm and tender,
free to experience,
deep in the dark.

Can you open your arms,
embrace the unknown lust?
breathe in the air from thy kiss,
let down all your guards.

Should I not see the future,
had I not lived in the past,
for whatever made us be,
you are the one of my eternal love...

Where Are You, My Love?

Where are you, my love?
Caught in the rain, aching in the heart,
How could my weak body,
Ever survive your violent flood?

Where are you, my love?
Deep in the woods, echoing to the star,
How could my drifted soul,
Ever hang on to your relentless bark?

Where are you, my love?
Yesterday's ink, tomorrow's mark,
How could my empy hands,
Ever reveal your hidden scar?

Where are you, my love?
Deaf to the alarm, drinking through dark,
How could my cracked mouth,
Ever taste your bittersweet blood?

RE: husbands

I suppose all wise people know that there are no perfect people, no perfect marriages, or for women per se, no perfect husbands. I figured that a near perfect husband would make a happy wife, while a not-so-perfect husband can make a smart and mature wife, not necessarily a sad one. By learning to deal with imperfect situations or people, we perfected ourselves and grew stronger.

So far I have learned to do the following:

1. Enjoy being lonely when my husband is watching youtube or playing games over the internet.

2. Enjoy playing with the kids or finding ways to make them do homework more willingly when my husband is watching youtube or playing games over the internet.

3. Enjoy watching endless TV drama over youtube and predict successfully the fates of all roles while my husband is playing his weekly basketball game.

4. Enjoy swimming laps for 1000+ meters at least 3 times a week and seeing my own figure getting fitter and fitter that it can fit into some clothes I could only have dreamed before, while my husband is bathing in the hot tub nearby.

5. Learned to keep silent and think about irrelevant things to distract myself while my husband yelled at me to "shut up" for no good reasons.

6. Enjoy more quality time with my kids and myself, who cares what he does...

7. Enjoy the feelings that I no longer care about money that much. I have enough and the more money, the more burdens. I enjoy seeing clearly about many things now. Finally I understand this traditional Chinese wisdom: 不以物喜，不以己悲 (my attempted translation is: do not feel too happy about any material gains, nor too sad about your own losses/miseries).

8. I believe there are reasons for everything that had happened, is happening, and will happen. I embrace future fully, and treasure memories that deserve my affections. I am peaceful and calm, but still allow a little indulgence from time to time so that I can still hope...HOPE...everything is possible, if we are sincere enough.

缘份

缘份，一个被说得太多的词。到底什么是缘份，已经不再重要，关键是说这个词的时候是什么样的心情，什么样的状况。记得当年在武汉拜访男友的父母时狂热地爱上了刘德华的＜来生缘＞：情深缘浅不得已，你我也知道去珍惜，只好等在来生里再踏上彼此故事的开始。冥冥中有一些暗示，还是不祥？总之有一天因为自己犯的一个无法原谅的错误，歌词变成了现实。缘分变成了无奈。

仍然记得九三年的最后一夜，你对我说：来世还要和我好，因为你不相信我们一定不能在一起。 我回答说：来世最好直接和你现在的女友好，省得大家都痛苦。

你们终于走在了一起，现在也有了可爱的孩子，你还这么想么？我不要知道答案，只要记住你说的话就好了。我相信心灵感应。虽然和你有意无意地失去了联系，我想有一种缘份会在空气中弥漫，被你深深地吸入怀中，从此扎下根来。现实生活大同小异，但我们永远有无尽的精神自由，谁也占有不了，谁也左右不了。

一个人失去所有身边的一切都不能算孤独。孤独的人是没有自我的人。

An Intimate Feeling, for a Remote Person

Can you really forget your own feelings? I once thought it was not possible unless you lost your memory as a medical condition. Gradually I realized that you CAN forget your own feelings, but only happy ones. Happy feelings do escape from you rather quickly, while sad/unfulfilled/disappointing feelings stay with you forever. Sometimes, joyful feelings did come back to your dreams, but once you woke up, more sad/unfulfilled/disappointing feelings would overwhelm you and made you wish that you had never had that dream.

Can feelings travel? Can that intimate/breathtaking feelings be felt by someone remotely, someone you cared dearly in your heart and soul? Does it matter? When love becomes history, feelings exist without any meanings. If my wish could fly, may it fly high and far to protect you from all harms and to make your happy feelings stay longer...even without me by your side.